iDollators:
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/09/married-to-a-doll-why-one-man-advocates-synthetic-love/279361/
Male Model Fight Clubs:
http://nymag.com/fashion/11/spring/71649/index1.html
Pro-Anorexia Lifestyle:
http://theproanalifestyleforever.wordpress.com/
http://www.myproana.com/
http://thinintentionsforever.blogspot.com/p/pro-ana-tips.html
Body Suspension:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/nov/10/body-suspension-hang-from-hooks-fun
From Sarah:
ReplyDeleteIt was difficult for me to be open-minded while reading about Davecat’s lifestyle as an iDollator. Unlike learning about subcultures such as Goth, Juggalos or the “Nacirema”, I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of humans marrying synthetic dolls for actual companionship. The idea of forming a companionship with an inanimate object, as Davecat has done with both Sidore and Elena, appears completely unreasonable at first glance. Davecat states that he is an introvert who can enjoy being alone, in that he enjoys time without others, but differentiates that from being lonely. Both Sidore and Elena have twitter accounts, which is a way Davecat can humanize them. He states that, “a synthetic will never lie to you, cheat on you, criticize you, or be otherwise disagreeable”, which is a reason they are so desirable to some people. In a sense I can sort of make reason as to why people who are extremely introverted, typically fail in human relationships or identify as “technosexuals” would wish to have a doll for companionship or as a spouse.
Badr Morshed
ReplyDeleteENG 201
Married to a Doll response
As I started to read the article, the only thing running through my mind was that this guy is totally insane. It was so sick to hear how a guy can buy a doll to fulfill his sexual desires, but what was really weird is that he treats the doll as his actual wife. As I read on, I realized how great this ethnography was written and also the bigger issue addressed.
To my understanding, Davecat is married to Sidore, the synthetic woman, because he doesn’t want to put himself through a relationship with an organic woman. That is because of the wrong doings of human beings. He wants to be able to love someone and be guaranteed that he won’t be cheated on or work so hard to please his significant other. Davecat is also trying to describe that there is a larger social issue that relates to this. That social issue is that there are some people that can’t attract the opposite sex to them. Some people put so much effort in trying to make a relationship to work. They waste their time, money, and energy, but they don’t accomplish what they want. I watched “Taboo: strange love” and there seems to be other people with the same problem where they just don’t know how to communicate with society.
I think that Davecat did an amazing job answering the questions and making sense out of the whole idea of synthetic dolls. This is also a great job on the author’s part as well. The questions were perfectly asked without assuming the answers and following up on the things he said. I think this is essential to a good ethnography and I will make effort to take part of this approach in my assignment.
I found the article on iDollators to be quite strange. It's such a foreign concept for us for a person to be in love with something that's not a person. Davecat seems like a really nice guy, but I can't help but think that this whole thing is rather creepy. Davecat states "Admittedly, my reasons for purchasing her were 70 percent sex, 30 percent companionship". On the surface, Davecat seems to be a lonely guy with no connection to human women, and he needs something to fill the void. But as I continued to read the article, he seemed to genuinely care for these dolls, and not only in a sexual way. He states "I was immediately stunned by her lifelike beauty, and after I mentally collected myself, extracted her from her crate, and sat her down on the couch, I just held her in my arms for a while". While this is extremely strange to most people, under the layers(and layers, and layers) of strange we can find sweetness and compassion. Davecat has a genuine interest in these dolls, they make up a huge part of his life. Perhaps the most interesting part to me is the fact that Davecat accepts that they are dolls and not humans. He embraces the fact, and still insists it's a two-sided relationship. I'm not sure how many other iDollators there are in the world, but the dolls seem to make them happy. In my opinion, as long as what you like to do doesn't hurt other people or infringe upon their lives, then it's fine by me.
ReplyDeleteFrom the very start I was creeped out by Davecat. I could not understand why somebody would pick a synthetic doll over a real human being in regards to making them a partner. It is still a bit weird for me to wrap my mind around this but I found on a sort of roller coaster ride as I was both agreeing and disagreeing with some of the points that Davecat pointed out. First of all, I would be lying if I did confess that they lack of gambling does sound appealing. When you are in a relationship with someone, you do not know if that would be the worst or best relationship of your life, if that will bring harm into your life, and all relationships have arguments and headaches at some point. The fact that all of that all the negatives of relationships with human beings can be avoided do sound very appealing. However, I simply cannot understand how Davecat can be truly believe that “referring to a Doll as a “sex toy” is demeaning and unimaginative”. The truth is that these dolls are just that, sex toys. They were intended for sexual pleasure. Now I am not saying that as an owner of these dolls you shouldn’t use them however you feel right, but you cannot find it to be an insult when people refer to these dolls as what they truly are. Another point that I agreed with and which made me understand where Davecat is coming from if the fact that not everyone has the mindset to keep on trying again and again to find the right partner for them. This point is very understandable and it is also true that with each failed relationship, some people are less willing to keep on trying. Ultimately, I disagree with Davecat seeing this as love. He is entitled to his own opinions and beliefs, however, more than anything this seems and sounds like a very weird sexual fetish.
ReplyDeleteI was completely unfamiliar with the idea of people marrying synthetic dolls and the term/group iDollators. I thought the idea of using a doll for sexual desires was weird, but then also treating the doll as a wife was weirder. The idea seems absurd, marrying a doll to replace a living person, or as Davecat refers to them as organic. Davecat answers all the questions clearly and he justifies why it is okay to marry these dolls instead of organic people. His reasons and evidence are completely true. The dolls will not cheat, argue, or hurt you. He is right and these are all problems in normal relationships and the reason as to why some of them fall apart. That being said many relationships last, but Davecat does not want to deal with these things, like the chance of cheating. He also talks about the idea of trying and trying again after a failed relationship which some people are not built to do. He ties this idea in with introverts and how both groups are most likely to marry synthetic dolls. The idea of marrying a doll is weird and crazy to a lot of people, but iDollators are free to do what they please and what pleases them. As long as they are not doing anything illegal or harming others in the process they can continue to be married to dolls whether or not you, me, or the rest of the world is okay it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first see the title, it makes me feel interested to read about a man married to a doll instead of a woman. When I open the link and saw the picture and I was wondering what kind of guy is he? Maybe, he is a scientist who likes to stay in his lab all day and enjoy his own world by isolating himself from the realistic world. He may want to be a king who has both a wife and a mistress. When I start to read the articles, I just feel like he is a special person who is only attached to artificial women for sex and as a life partner. He doesn’t want to have a real woman because he doesn’t want himself getting into trouble, for instance: family issues, having an argument and fighting and not get along with them and etc. But then he cannot have a next generation from these Idollators. When I read further, I learned more about him and his thoughts. As close as I thought, he is a more introvert person, who doesn’t like being social. He spent time with his friends either online or physically, but most of the time he just spent time with himself taking photos, watching a film, writing or doing research. It is kind of interesting that Davecat’s female-related friends or his mom accept his relationship with Idollators but it’s kind of hard for his male friends or his dad to accept that he has a doll as a wife. And the article tells that a majority of people buying Idollators are men instead of women because women have better selection and choices to real men and the other reason may be because Idollators are too heavy for women to carry. I would be scared mostly if there was an Idollator inside my room. I remember that I was shocked every time when I came back home into my room because of a giant bear that my friend bought for me for a holiday gift and the bear is just sitting on my bed. I thought I was seeing a ghost at the time. I just couldn’t get used to it in the beginning, but now I love it. So I guess everything including Idollators need a process for people to learn more about it and get used to it without having to reject it.
ReplyDeleteLeilei Lin
ReplyDeleteEng 201
iDollators are people who see their doll as life partners instead of sex toys. This sounds very new to me and I even surprised how a person can treat a doll as his life companionship. As I read through the interview, I found out why author Davecat preferred to have relationship with doll but not real woman or organic human. There are few points make he felt that the synthetic love fits him well. First, he is a technosexual. Technosexual means people interested in artificial human. For Davecat, he is especially interested in artificial women. He doesn’t treat a doll as a “thing” or a “sex toy”, but he treats his doll with fully respect as human being. Therefore, synthetic love well suits him. In addition, He doesn’t want to waste his time and emotion on the organic human. For example, for his previous experience for a relationship, he put his time to comfort a girl in bad mood and live with her for four months. He end up didn’t work out with that girl. He also experienced to pursuit his previous coworker. However, his trust and effort didn’t seem worked through his relationship. Instead of having actual human as his wife, he preferred to have marriage with a doll called Sidore. Therefore, he does whatever he wants to do even Sidore is always surrounding him. His doll wife Sidore sets him free and she even have fun with him through internet. Sidore also fulfilled his loneliness by 99%. Moreover, Sidore’s body was fixed three times after he received her. But after every single times of fixation, he’s into her more. As an introvert, the life with Sidore brings Davecat bright side of his life. As a reader, I am admiring what Davecat had chosen for his life. I am sure that he knew the decision he had made would bring a lot of argument. People might judge him in front of him or secretly. On the other hand, he’s does well what he supposed to do or even does better. He opens up his synthetic love in television and website. He even give a lesson for psychology students about his synthetic love.
From Haley:
ReplyDeleteThe importance of this article lies in learning about Davecat’s backstory, how we grew up, his past relationships, and why he has chosen the lifestyle he lives now. Davecat opened up about how his friends and family feel about his life as an iDollator. It sounds as if most of his friends see it sort of comically but others, such as his father, have never accepted it. The way Davecat talks about his father sounds as if they never had much of a relationship even from when he was young. Davecat also opens up about his past failed relationships with organic women. Davecat seems to lack the abilities to be in a successful relationship because he needs things from women that only synthetic women can provide for him. He states the advantage of his synthetic companions is that they’re “easygoing” and “will never lie to you, cheat on you, or criticize you.” Part of human relationships involves hardships, ups and downs, the sharing of emotions, and a marriage consists of being with one another through “better or worse”. Fortunately, for Davecat, he does not have to suffer through any hardships that he does not want to. With synthetic companions, he is in complete control of what happens between him and his dolls. After reading this article, I believe it will help a lot with our future ethnography assignment because it shows the important of looking into the lives of these individuals who are involved in these subcultures. Their backstories of their lives prior to joining these subcultures could be very interesting in determining the reasons behind why they may be choosing this particular lifestyle.
In American society, it is often important for individuals to find future mates, whom they will marry and spend the rest of their lives with. In the past, relationships were strictly based on the idea that a man or a woman should be with a person of the opposite gender; as the years have passed, society has gradually grown more accepting to idea that marriage can be with a person of the same gender. Society has a strong influence on what we believe should be right, thus when I first read the article about Davecat being in a relationship with dolls, I was completely shocked by his ideals since they are different from what society claims. Davecat reveals that he is infatuated with dolls, and even goes as far to marry one of them. Though his actions may seem revolting, one almost pities Davecat as his love for these inanimate objects stems from a series of failed relationships. Davecat states that his relationships with “organic” women were unsuccessful because none of the women he was with truly loved him, and as a result he turned to dolls to relieve his tension with real women. Despite the fact dolls are non-living, Davecat feels a special connection with the dolls as they cannot mistreat him. Though his ideas are unusual, one almost pities Davecat for his love of dolls as he uses his infatuation to escape from the problems he has faced with his past relationship.
ReplyDeleteThroughout the entire reading my overarching feeling was that the interviewee, Davecat, is a sterling example of a blind misogynist; a title that is worn by many men in America. Throughout the entire interview Davecat’s views of women and a women’s relationship roles is both misogynistic and chauvinistic, however he brushes off any guilt of these characteristic with classic feel good excuses.
ReplyDeleteWhen looking at Davecats views towards relationships and relationship roles, women are completely marginalized. Davecats rationalizes iDollating because his perfect dolls “don't possess any of the unpleasant qualities that organic, flesh and blood humans have”, continuing on to say that “It’s rare enough to find organics who don't have something going on with them”. Davecat also continue to use the phrase “disagreeable” in reference to organic women differing from Davecats ideal woman. This passage embodies Davecats’ attitude that real women are not worth dating because they might have flaws. Davecat’s attitude suggests that as a male he deserves his perfect woman and since women’s purpose could be served by a doll, why go through the hassle of dealing with an actual human being. Davecats views towards women are spelled out by what he expects from women he is intimate with; Davecat wants tangible beauty without any of the problems that “organics” come with. By believing that objects can be women, he only enforces his notion that women are object.
This alone is not startling (Davecat is a chauvinist), many men still believe in male superiority and think women are sexual objects; however it is Davecats’ continual denial and belief that he is not a chauvinist which is damaging. When asked about how his opinion could be construed as the objectification of women Davecat states that it’s not the degrading of women, but it’s “personifying objects” and that iDollators “treat their Dolls like goddesses”. This notion that women are goddesses or should worshiped upon a pedestal is the most common belief of blind chauvinists, who believe they couldn’t possibly think women are inferior because they view them as beautiful princesses. However, when women are treated as anything other than equal female human beings, that is sexism.
While I don’t believe small chivalrous acts such as opening up a door for a woman or allowing a woman you are walking with to walk on the shoveled part of the sidewalk, is the driving force between the gender equality gap in America, chivalry was invented in a time where women were viewed as property. And Davecats’ behavior is in the same category as changing your neighbor’s oil, not because it would save her money, but because she’s a woman; and women don’t want to get their hands dirty.
I personally think the concept of men who are married to dolls, or “idollators”, is very abnormal. Though I view this to be very abnormal, there are many current idollators who take pride and joy in everything they do. Being apart of the idollator society simply means that they have found their place in society; and in today’s world, that can be a very important. In human nature, people are constantly searching to have relationships; hoping to never feel lonely and unaccompanied. I believe this society of people previously fit into the “feeling lonely” the feeling lonely category. I view these individuals as ones that were raised in something they grew to not believe in and this is their way of showing rebellion.
ReplyDeleteFrom Sara:
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with what David said. At first glance, while I was reading this I found this guy to be a misogynist. The way he preferred synthetic women over “organic” women, the weight he wanted his doll to be and the way he describe how some guys don’t meet women’s “expectations” as if we have a crazy list of things a guy needs to meet. However, I don’t find it to be misogynist but rather insecure. Davecat talks about the time he did have a relationship with an “organic” women, he said he wasn’t persuasive enough nor did he even try, probably having the fear of striking out before he even came to the plate. With the dolls, there’s no trying to impress them or having to say anything to them, he bought them and they’re not going anywhere. He also discusses the fact that one of his friends got a divorce after a few years. This is another fear, an insecurity that he’d be left for whatever reason. Once again, that’s when the doll fits into his life, a doll can’t leave. Also, as Sarah says, I can see why someone as big as an introvert he is, likes to be alone. I consider myself an introvert and I would never marry a doll, because I just find that straight up weird however, someone like this guy and maybe others seem like big introverts. He said he likes to be alone a lot and that the noise of other people bother him, this seems like an extreme introvert considering most introvert just like to reflect, paying close attention to their own thoughts and emotions. So maybe this relationship isn’t as strange as it seems and that it has nothing to do with women but rather himself, his own confidence, maybe it’s the only way for people like him to find happiness with someone, or something else.
From Anna:
ReplyDeleteIt was very hard for me to read this article because I do not take seriously people like Davecat. After I finished reading itI still did not have a clear vision of what his Dolls are for him. It was said that he is perfectly aware that they are dolls, and he is not trying to pretend they are real persons. After that I was very confused after each time he was giving them human characteristics and telling how good they treat him comparing to “organics”. I believe I understood what made him become an iDollator and start the “relationship” with a Doll. The communication between real people is a very complicated and still not discovered thing. As anything else relationship can be good or bad; there are always ups and downs. Sometimes you get benefits from it, sometimes you do not. It seems like Davecat made his decision and chose an easy way to stay away from all difficulties that real women could bring in his life. It is understandable that he did not want to be disappointed about somebody, cheated on or simply spend his time and efforts on something that might not work. Yes, Dolls do not need a lot from him and at the same time they cannot give him anything either. On my own opinion this is where the beauty of human’s relationship is hidden. You are never sure in somebody but when everything turns out great you start to appreciate other person’s efforts. The idea of any relationship is to find somebody who fulfills your loneliness. And if Davecat found his other half and he is happy – then he is doing everything right.